partly cloudy

A fire burns inside of me
Brighter than any star
But everyone around
Has tried to keep covered
Covered like clouds on a stormy night

Stifle it
smother it
Never let it show
Always drift in front of the light to hide it from prying eyes

It's too intense
Too bright
Too concentrated
We are doing the world a favor by stealing the view

Now I don't know how to let it shine
An overcast life
Surrounded by clouds
My light filtered and blocked

Those clouds
They want my light
They want it for themselves
Want to keep it hidden
But They can't handle the intensity

I burn brighter than a star
A star hidden and covered by jealous clouds

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I am here
In this place I call hell
I have to fake that i am alright
The entire time I am here
I can't look sad or be quiet
I have to laugh and be polite no matter what
I hate it here
If I am ever sent to a hell dimension it will look exactly like Laurinburg

Happy memories of times with him are imprinted on every inch of this area
I hate pretending to laugh
I start to feel psycho after awhile
I hate trying to smile and be upbeat when all I want is to scream
These people ruined my life
They took away part of my family from me
And they expect me to be glad and sacrifice a bird with them

Breaking bread with the enemy
The ones who made me the miserable sop I am today
I'm not blaming all the problems in my life on these people
Just the one that matters
They took my love away from me
Now I am empty and hollow
One more day of pretending to be alright
Then I can stay away for another two months... at least


I'm not focused, I'm out of it... all the time. I couldn't even tell you what I did today. I know i went to work. I know the computer acted funny for a few minutes. I know I watched the graduation episodes of Buffy and the new one of House. Thats about all I can remember. My abs are sore... It took almost an hour before I remembered that I had dance yesterday. I don't know who was in class and who wasn't and I'm pretty sure I forgot to turn in attendence again. I was doing so much better with the teaching thing. I was doing really well. Next week is thanksgiving, not looking forward to it. Baby's birthday is coming up. I don't have any money, that sucks. Do I invite the child of my now estranged best friend, who took the path of so many others and left me when i needed her the most? I should be doing something important. I just don't know what it is. I need some Jack, Jack makes it all better. One of the things HE has no hand in. This is all me and Chris.
  • Current Music
    Jack Johnson
  • Tags

New mod

Evidently this community has been abandoned and transferred to me, can you tell how ecstatic I am, if there are any members left in this group, I thought you might like to know.
  • Current Music
    pain in my head
  • Tags

Fuck this time and place

I'm new to this community, this is my first post and here is my fucking rant. I am sick and fucking tired of being miserable. Every damn morning I wake up and a wave of misery washes over me, sometimes small, sometimes a tidal wave, but it's always fucking there. It's a miserable fucking life full of idiot peopple who make it worse. FUCK!!!! I've quit cutting, I've given up on almost everything and I have no personal time at all. Ranting doesn't make me feel better anymore, but I need to rant.
  • Current Music

the Wizard of OZ

Check out this guys fight for:


He speackes out for Liber Oz,
some people fuckin talk about Thelema,
This guy is living it.

No matter what the fuck any tries to do to stop him.

He is fighting the heads of the OTO, and is not taking shit from no one.
He is like "FUCK you bitches, give me what Lon DeQueets head on a stick or I'll ass fuck you all!!!!"

Is this guy Crowley come back to show us the Light??

Fight on till everyone lives Liber OZ!!!


Stuck in the Future

I feel like I’m stuck in the future. Like my mind is 10, 20, maybe even 30 years ahead of my body and I can’t relax until my body catches up. So I’m stuck in the future, forced to worry about every second I haven’t even lived yet. What if I never catch up to my dreams and I’m stuck in this limbo for the rest of my life. Its to depressing to think about, I need to focus on something else.
  • Current Music
    Damn Right, I've Got the Blues ~ Buddy Guy

(no subject)

Glad to have found this community. I'm bipolar, and have self-mutilation tendencies. I am Cynical, Narcacistic, Bitchy. I used to be suicidal, but when you find your boyfriends roomate dead of an overdose on his bedroom floor, and you actually stare death right in the face, it changes your veiws.... the body looks very different unprocessed. May not have that effect on everyone, but it cured me of wanting to die... I am fascinated with Witchcraft and the use of crystals and Herbs. I don't go out much anymore, i prefer seclusion. except with my close friends... but i do like talking to people via internet. as my mood changes at the drop of a hat, and the idiot shrink of mine can't seem to get the right cocktail of drugs together to keep me sane, i'm sure i'll be back to rant very soon.
  • Current Mood
    moody moody

Love :S

Argh, some boys are so stupid! My ex for example.. i broke up with him, and now he's in love again with an other girl.. it's fine only he wrote such things in his nickname.. really grose
Allright, i'm jalous, i need love :-(

Am i'm going to be mad? :-D